Community Voices

Volleyball is more than a game—it’s a community. Community Voices highlights the stories of athletes who inspire, break barriers, and shape the future of the sport. At Volley Life, we believe that representation, inclusion, and opportunity matter. By sharing these journeys, we celebrate resilience, diversity, and the power of belonging—because when every player feels seen and supported, the game grows stronger for everyone.

Relyea Speller’s Story

Tomás: Tell me your journey through volleyball.

Relyea: My journey was a funny one. I was first introduced to volleyball in 6th grade gym class. Just like handball, I thought this was just a cool sport to play that I didn’t know anything about. Freshman year, 2004 - Nathan Voegel, played at Marquette High School, and he was my neighbor. He transferred to Tosa East. We were shooting hoops in the backyard. He said USA Women’s Indoor was playing China in the Athens Olympics. My jaw was on the floor the whole time I was watching these women play. Most dynamic, athletic, coolest looking thing I’ve ever seen. Nathan said you shouldn’t try out for Tosa East high school in the fall because people would be too good and I wouldn’t make the team. I was a softie back then so I didn’t go tryout. 

He hit me back up after tryouts on AOL Instant Messenger to come join the freshmen team. The one time I served that year, I played backrow and tried to rebound the ball even though it was going out of bounds.

It didn’t strike me as black people didn’t play volleyball. I was focused on the craft. Sophomore year I started figuring things out; I was able to hit the ball down. John recommended that I go play club. I started club sophomore year because freshman year I was playing basketball. John Simon (legendary longtime head coach at Tosa East) and Bobby Vranek were in my ear telling me to go play club. The North Shore kids, they were good, but I made the team. I was like, oh s***, I can do this! 

Tomás: Were there other people of color on the team?

Relyea: There were a couple of black kids at Tosa East but other than that, there weren’t any other black kids out there playing that I saw. 

Tomás: How did that make you feel?

Relyea: I wasn’t sad, but maybe a little sad, confused, curious, and disappointed. African American friends gave me a lot of s***, “you’re playing a soft a** sport.” Disappointed that not more black people were playing but also that my black friends were giving me s*** and were close-minded to the sport; they thought that it was soft.

The first black person I saw at a tournament was Larry Wrather, who played Adversity. We gravitated towards each other. I see a black person walking down the street, we’re going to acknowledge each other. It’s still like that in the sport. Larry grew up with a volleyball in his hand. To see a black person be a natural volleyball player was so inspirational. My love of the game really took off from there. The number didn’t grow, but it was hella cool to see black players out there ballin and being good, at all kinds of positions, not just middle.

Tomás: What was your biggest highlight from high school ball?

Relyea: It was really cool to win state. Not to say I was a big part of it, but to be a starting part of it. Beating Tosa West on the way in our packed gym. You couldn’t hear the whistle, it was so loud. Beating Kyle Ullsperger’s punk a** in the semis (Appleton North). Almost every other player on every other team was white. Middleton had an Asian setter, Appleton North had a couple Hmong kids that played backrow, Greenfield had a black player. 

Tomás: I remember watching you and your team play at that State Tournament. My team lost in the first round my sophomore year, but we stayed and watched for a bit. I remember you being a good player, but I also remember a lot of the talk from my teammates and the crowd was negative about you. They said you could jump high, which was of course true, but they also said you were showing off and not a very good teammate. I remember strongly disagreeing with that. 

Relyea: Wisconsin is a different place.

Tomás: Were you aware of these racial stereotypes and did they affect you in high school?

Relyea: I didn’t recognize it in the moment, but looking back at it, I feel like I was put into positions because of my color. Black kids, it’s like, oh, he jumps high. You hear in sports commentary all the time, “Black person, he’s a class act; latino, spark plug; white guy is a gym rat.” “Black guy, he jumps high; put him in the middle. Maybe he’s got some coordination so put him at opposite.” I feel like that is something that is unfairly happening to black players. In America, we do a great job of specializing training (volleyball) instead of complete skills training.

I didn’t feel that in high school. But my dad hit me with this when I was in Estonia; “All the eyes were on me.” On Volley Talk I saw “black kid on Tosa East this, black kid on Tosa East that.” I wasn’t getting any recognition outside of the athletic part of me. Which I didn’t like because everybody had that athleticism on the court. 

Tomás: People always ask me about my vertical, but it’s like, “How did you do this? How did you earn it?” With black people the discussion is always like “God given…” 

Relyea: But I was always trying to win and compete since I was kid doing active stuff my whole life. There’s nothing to it about being black, it’s just being active and doing the work. I learned how to jump, how to be explosive, and trained for that s***. 

Tomás: What came after high school?

Relyea: After high school, uncertainty. My grades were so s*** in high school that I couldn’t play basketball and had to take summer school to even play volleyball. I went to MATC to do gen-eds. I was playing Center Court volleyball and got picked up with some good local players like Kyle Buckley. Then I went out to Golden West - got hooked up by Matthew Ulmer. California volleyball was so diverse, sometimes white is even the minority. At Golden West we had some Mexicans, Samoans, black people, and white guys. That was really cool. Other schools had people of color too. Fast forward to when I’m playing at Long Beach City College, there was a lot of diversity on my team, which was so cool. That’s when my game really started taking off because I felt most comfortable there, not having all the eyes on me. I didn’t realize that until I got to Estonia. At the time, at LBCC, I was the old, 24 year old from the Midwest so I felt like eyes were on me, but I felt more comfortable adapting to it. Playing there really helped my confidence and helped me to be me.

Tomás: Do you feel that if you had been exposed to more diversity in the sport earlier on that it would have helped your career?

Relyea: More diversity early on would have for sure helped me early on in my career. It’s always nice, when you’re a kid, that you see someone else that looks like you. It inspires you. 

Tomás: What was next?

Relyea: I went to Hawaii from Golden West but only to find out that I didn’t have enough credits to stay there. An error by the recruiting and coaching staff at Hawaii since I didn’t find out until I got there. 

Mark Burik was playing in Sweden at the time when I played Nationals at Louisville (2013). I was playing Lights Out that year and we played against Mark and he if I wanted to go overseas on his team. But I needed game film and I was in such a panic. I decided to go play at LBCC instead - it helped me get in really good shape and learn to play outside really well. LBCC taught me how to be a man. After LBCC, I was playing with Lights Out and then planning on moving to Florida to play beach. But then Mini, a Danish coach at Lights Out, got me to come play overseas in Denmark.

That was an eye opener. A lot of the team was from Poland and they were super good. Ballers. But also, loose canons. And the coach didn’t really help, he was just a homeboy. It was humbling. I thought, man, Denmark volleyball, I’m about to tear this s*** up. First of all, my teammates were really good but disorganized. Then we played against Villerod, they were alright. I’m playing outside for Ishoj getting super screened, topspin rollshot, I passed into the ceiling. I was so nervous. Wait, they’re f***ing skilled here? Of course, no matter what country I go to, the players will always be skilled - that’s how they train them. If a player needs to play a different position, they can do it. I played a few matches and then quit because the organization was so disorganized - they took money from me while I was working a sponsor job and had made a little under $2,000 USD - the team president came to my flat and pulls out a spreadsheet and shows that I owe $400 and starts saying that I owe money for my apartment, travel, and gear. Stuff that wasn’t disclosed up front. But then, he was like, we will call it even because you’ve been good to the club. Practices started getting cancelled. F*** this s***, I left. I came back to the states in February and then stayed home for a year.

Tomás: How did you feel playing on those teams overseas?

Relyea: I always felt welcomed and a part of every community that I went to. But Estonia was the first time I was like, holy s***, all eyes are watching me because I was the only black person. Especially after losing the first 7 matches. My parents were watching; my dad reminded me and challenged me, “Remember that no matter what the f*** you’re doing -tying your shoes, getting a kill, making an error, even if you haven’t touched the ball - everybody sees what you’re doing, especially between points.” My dad said, “With that said, you go ahead and put your best foot out there and your team will follow you naturally.” So I was like, why not. 

We’re playing this Lithuanian team that had a big jump server and was good outside of that too. We beat them in four and I had the match of my life - played super aggressively. That was when I really started being mindful of my actions, especially when hundreds of thousands of people are watching me on tv. 

One match, I got really tested. We had this Latvian setter who was a nice guy but maybe he was a little racist and was an a** to me on the court. He would drop the N bomb here and there. In a TV match against a team we had just beaten, I bounced a ball just barely called out on the line and he started cussing me out. I also missed a dig and he jumped on me again with a hard “-er,” “This f***ing n*****.” And I was like, I gotta knock this motherf***er out, at least cuss him out, but I was like I can’t. I opened up to my team captain that he was being mean to me and the captain was just like, whatever, let’s play. The setter faced no consequences. 

Tomás: That must have been really frustrating. What would you have liked to see happen?

Relyea: At that point, the team was falling apart. Michelau’s visa got denied, the coach had just left, we hadn’t gotten paid. The captain supported the team instead of me. It would have been nice, having a teammate, maybe Smiegs who is also from America, to have someone step in and tell that guy off and check in on me. 

I get the vibe from Estonian culture, that they aren’t so warm like that. They are good people, but also kind of cold, closed-knit. 

Tomás: What is similar and different about your overseas experience and playing back home?

Relyea: Stakes are gone. The pressure is a lot less. I’m not trying to keep or gain a contract. I’m not trying to please anybody. I’m playing for me and it’s a lot more fun. 

In Serbia, I was fired after just getting more and more tired, with two a days three times per week. No breaks. By the time we played our first friendly, we were all broken down. We get swept by a bunch of kids and of course it all falls on me. That’s when I really learned that everything was on my shoulders. 

The Manager and President sat me down in the cafe and said we paid the kids $200-400/month, the locals about $600-800/month - this is their secondary thing. We pay you $1,600/month. We’re not paying you that much to perform at the same level as a $400 player. You need to score 25 points per match. That’s not even fair considering the sport. I learned that it was a business. We are literally just numbers. They treated me like royalty that first couple weeks when I was balling. From the day I had a bad practice, they ignored me. 

After Serbia, I went to Mongolia - super the only black dude playing there. So many kids come up to me and want pictures and autographs, Instagram follows. They noticed how good of a dude I was and playing well on the court too. People literally see every f***ing thing I’m doing on the court. I get it. My eyes are on the person of color too.

Tomás: Do you feel that at Waupaca playing on center court?

Relyea: Waupaca playing in front of that crowd, the two times against OOS, even when I was with you guys and we took second, I still felt the eyes on me in warmups. I was comfortable. I’m home. The majority of the crowd knows me personally. I feel comfortable. So there wasn’t really any pressure. I’m one of the local guys.

Playing in Greece, we played a rival team and the stands were packed. Everybody was dressed in black together, jumping around, singing songs. Even my teammates were like, “Yo, Rel, you’re getting cussed the f*** out.” Casey (my girlfriend) was even at that match and she really stuck out because she wore a yellow jersey against the black shirts of the crowd. I took that moment and just ran with it - a bull in the china shop. Getting big kills and big blocks, talking s*** through the net and staring them down. I could really feel the pressure in that moment and felt the need to rise up and show them, “this monkey can play!” I

Tomás: One of the things that I hear a lot about players with a lot of athleticism, but especially about minorities with athleticism, is that they have “so much potential,” or, “
If only they could figure things out they would be so good.” I think that ignores what the most important thing about being good at anything is all about and that is what goes on between the ears. Being athletic is obviously helpful in a sport like volleyball, but the best players are the ones that can be consistent and maintain focus better than everyone else.  

Relyea: I feel that s*** at Waupaca sometimes when people are questioning if I can play. I use it as motivation. 

Tomás: What are the biggest takeaways or lessons you have learned from your experiences?

Relyea: My biggest takeaway is you need to be a team player, but the best way you can be a team player is to focus on yourself first. You need to be the best you before you can help your team. For myself as a person, that means putting your best foot forward mentally, verbally, physically, body language wise. The better foot I put forward, the better foot my teammates put forward.

Tomás: You said that playing in a more diverse environment earlier in your career would have helped you a lot. What are things that Volley Life can do to make the path easier, more welcoming, and more enjoyable for black athletes? 

Relyea: This is a very tough one. The purpose of a business is to make money. I think it would be really cool if you found a way to get into communities of color and started introducing the game there as well. Maybe through free or very cheap clinics. Kind of like what Harshil is doing with Lights Out in Chicago land. You should do that in Milwaukee too. Volleyball has come a long way and it’s on a big enough scale to make an impact now. It’s something I would like to help out with too. 

Tomás: I think that would be great and having you as a coach would be awesome. You’ve achieved a tremendous amount as a player and have a lot to share with the next generations. I also think having black representation will help young black athletes be inspired and know that they have a place in the community and can be successful. 

Thank you so much for talking with me today. You’ve been a great friend for a long time but it is cool to learn more about you and your experiences.

Relyea: Thank you for doing this interview. It was a good experience for me too.

Tomás: Everybody has their own biases but you have to confront those and recognize the humanity in others. I think volleyball can help with that.

Relyea: Agreed.

As part of our dedication to community and inspired by our talk with Relyea Speller, Volley Life is taking action. We will be launching new events and programs in the fall to bring volleyball to underrepresented communities, introduce more young Black athletes to the game, and create spaces where everyone feels welcome. Representation matters. Change is coming. And Volley Life is here for it.